HR | HR Without Ego

#SHRM22 Recap Part 1 — Care for your People

Someone asked me on LinkedIn the other day the age-old HR dichotomy: “Is HR’s job to protect the company or the people?” My response? “You protect the company by taking care of the people. When you take care of people, they feel valued, seen, and appreciated. They will take care of your business every time.” My takeaway from #SHRM22? I’m not alone in this belief — we need to take care of our people.

I had a healthy dose of skepticism for Sunday’s opening general session with two healthcare insurance carrier executives on the stage. Please don’t tell us the solution to this mass exodus of talent is found in benefits…However, shortly into their discussion, I saw the most beautiful display of vulnerability and kindness as a leader. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room, including Humana’s President and CEO, Bruce Broussard as they recalled a story about the personal medical challenges of the Chief Administrative Officer, Tim Huval. The obvious care, compassion, and concern for this person on the CEO’s team was palpable in the room. It was a living demonstration of empathy and culture – setting the example from the top. What a way to start the conference!

The theme of humanity and taking care of ourselves and one another continued throughout the conference experience. Humanity was present in the halls — as per usual, there was a DJ in the main area to get people moving. A time or two, you could find me and several others, connecting through a mutual love of the Cha-Cha Slide, letting loose and forgetting about e-mails, HRIS demos, and anything outside of the four walls of the convention center.

In the Expo Hall, an unfamiliar site reminded us all of the importance of culture 365 in our companies. Motivosity had a sign in their booth that clearly demonstrated their culture. The expo started on Sunday, but that was a protected time for “Yeti families,” as they called their team members, and they were spending Sunday with their families. This value wasn’t situational — Sundays are for family unless we have a conference to attend.

The leadership at Motivosity lives their values 365 — conference or no conference. What a powerful message they sent to their teams and their prospective customers! I know I made a note to return the next day.

Speaking of culture…Steve Browne, CPO of LaRosa’s reminded us the importance of taking care of our people and being people-first, sharing with his attendees a photo of a simple block of wood they made and handed out to each team member with “We are PEOPLE FIRST” AND “2,4,4,2 KEYS TO SUCCESS” carved into the block.

Steve shared that the meaning behind the “2,4,4,2” was this:
“If you do more to people than for people, your life will not be successful. Do more for people than to people for your life to be successful.” – Mike LaRosa, via Steve Browne, SHRM-SCP

Imagine joining that team and knowing that your leadership is not only people first, but they are promoting that value and holding themselves and others accountable to it. Is your organization practicing people-first leadership?

If you attended SHRM22 or even simply followed the hashtag #SHRM22 SHRM22Influencer, you can find photos, videos, and tips for making your organization people first. It can be a little overwhelming during the conference itself to absorb all the great content that is shared. That’s the purpose of the Influencer team. We capture soundbites and ideas and share them – not just during the conference, but long after!

Stay tuned for Part 2!

#SHRM22 Annual Conference & Expo: The Introvert’s Guide to #Conferencing

#Conferencing is a term that has been coined by the #SHRM19Blogger contingent that took on Las Vegas. The annual conference is an EVENT, and it can be overwhelming for those that are first-timers or even recurring attendees. There are a LOT of blog posts by my fellow #SHRM22Influencers that will help you every step of the way for first-time attendees. We are HR people, People people, and we are here to help!

This guide is a little bit different. I’m a card-carrying Introvert, INTJ, and I’m here to help.

#Conferencing is not a spectator sport as I’ve shared before. Conferences are designed for a few purposes:

Connect in person. I hear you, you’re an introvert, and you’re happy with the people you’re already connected with — or you don’t know where to start. Lucky for you, I have some card-carrying extroverts that would LOVE to help you. It’s a little-known fact that extroverts love helping out their introvert friends. Allow me to introduce you to a few of the #HRCommunity’s pals:

My friend and unofficial mentor, Steve Browne. Steve not only wants to connect with you, he wants to help you! Find Steve, and tell him Nicole sent you! Also check out Steve’s sessions!

In the event you don’t know him, *this* is Steve.

One of my favorite humans ever and wine buddy, Kyra Matkovich. Kyra is the keeper of the #HRShenanigans and held down the fort with the virtual conference last year. She will be in NOLA with us this summer, and she’d love to meet you!

Speaking of making life-long friends, *this* is Josh Rock and Kyra — in Kyra’s hometown.

Attend the events! There is Tuesday night entertainment, Sunday reception in the Exhibitor Hall, and plenty of other events provided throughout the conference. Attend the events and don’t just go back to your room at the end of the day! Sign up for Jess Miller-Merrill’s VIP Text Alerts from Workology’s Party People. Text ‘SHRM’ to 512-548-3005 and get live updates on where all the activities are taking place!

Connect virtually. As mentioned, Kyra held down the fort for the virtual conference last year, and SHRM is offering a virtual option for those unable to join in person in New Orleans this year as well! Follow the following hashtags: #SHRM22, #SHRM22Influencer, #CauseTheEffect (our 2022 theme). I can’t tell you the number of genuine connections I’ve formed with my virtual #HRCommunity that have become real-life friends that I’m sure I’ll have for a lifetime.

Learn New Things and SHARE IT: There are 11 content tracks with 200+ expert-led sessions in store for you at SHRM22 this year. Check out the full conference schedule and PLAN your experience. The app will be coming out shortly. Pay attention to where sessions are located and when you arrive, don’t barricade yourself with your bags at the end of the row and check your e-mail until the session starts. Get comfortable and be open to meeting others around you. Chances are if you’re in the same session, you share interests in the subject matter. Take a chance and introduce yourself, and if you don’t take the first step, at least be open to those sitting around you. Be present and ask questions/participate. Share your key learnings on social media — and don’t forget the hashtags!

Hope this helps! Remember to make the most of your time while also still being true to yourself and your boundaries. These are suggestions from one introvert to another. Enjoy and please connect with me if I can help in any way. See you there!

The Importance of Pause

I’m writing this from the airport in Dallas after a wonderful weekend full of connection, friendship, and love. I was at a wedding for one of my girlfriend’s daughters. It was beautiful. The photo is our group, minus some who were unable to make it but no less dearly missed.

What was even more beautiful, however — or maybe equally as beautiful was the fact that I was able to completely trust my wonderful team and unplug and be PRESENT during this time. I understand fully that I set the example for this for my team.

It’s not enough that I have this disclaimer at the bottom of my signature:

“Please note: we work flexibly at MVAH, and I’m sending this at a time that suits me to do so. Please be aware there is no expectation for you to respond outside of your own working hours.”

You have to practice what you preach: you have to practice pause. I left home on Thursday evening. My flight was delayed and canceled, so I didn’t actually leave until Friday morning, but that didn’t matter. I unplugged on Thursday late afternoon after delivering on my commitments and ensuring that my team was setup for success in my absence.

Notice that I didn’t just completely abandon my responsibilities before leaving on this trip. It’s no one’s fault but my own if I overcommitted (which I didn’t), and if my timeline got tight and caused a flurry of work before leaving. Don’t be that leader that gets so wrapped up in their own agenda that they let things fall to their team to clean up because they weren’t able to wrap it up before they leave. You wouldn’t want that from your team. Don’t behave that way. You are training your team how to behave as the next generation of leaders. You have a responsibility to be the example of how they should behave with their future teams.

Along the lines of being an example of a leader who sets clear expectations, makes commitments, honors those commitments, and delivers on expectations, you also need to be the leader that demonstrates how to truly take pause and be present in your life with those you care about.

I owe it to my team to NOT be checking in, checking e-mails, bird-dogging tasks, etc. I owe it to them to know that I have a team of highly skilled, highly competent, passionate people who want to do good work — and let them do it. I owe it to my team to know that by me not visibly checking in, I am demonstrating my trust and that I did everything I needed to do to set them up for success prior to me going out of town.

Likewise, I owed it to my friends to not revolve our schedule around me needing to be on-call, checking in, near a computer or on my phone all the time. Why go if you can’t be present? I spent Friday afternoon by the pool with my beautiful friends, talking, catching up, and being completely in the moment with one another. We are all business owners and/or business executives, and not one of us was chained to our phone. We created safety with each other, and if someone would have needed to get away and work, there wouldn’t have been any shame, but we seemed to breathe a collective sigh that we would simply be together and be present.

As you take plan time away in the future, make sure that you are being kind to your team and kind to those that you need to show up for. Plan appropriately, make sure that your lack of planning is not someone else’s emergency, and set the example for your team that you not only want them to take time, but that they are in good hands and are not expected to be heard from until they return. Be kind. Take a pause.

Culture Check: Is it Safe to Make a Mistake?

When mistakes happen, what is the go-to behavior in your organization? Do you have people who will vehemently defend their actions, try to solve problems in a vacuum, attack others, or deflect/misdirect the attention? Do you have people who will attempt to hide or cover up mistakes? Do you have people who will reach out to their teams and leadership to get guidance, support, and help? Do they own their mistakes, acknowledge their part, and look for ways to improve?

If your organization is more aligned with the “own your mistakes and ask for help” vs. “blame and CYA”, you have a healthy organization. Your people should never be afraid to make a mistake. Mistakes are where we learn what doesn’t work. Mistakes are where we have the opportunity to look at a problem from another perspective and problem solve, brainstorm, and come up with a solution together. Healthy cultures take the ego out of their processes and are open to the possibility that there is a better and more effective way to do things.

Where does your HR/People Operations (whatever you call it) team fit in here?

Do you have a culture of service, support, and help, or are you punitive and focus far too much on the past and what can’t be changed vs. the future and how to move forward and make things better? Are you the policy police? Are you the principal’s office? Are people afraid when you show up unannounced? If so, make efforts, even small ones today, to change that. HR is not the principal’s office or the policy police. Your leadership teams are not judge, jury, and executioner. If you observe a leader being punitive with someone, have the courage to speak up and address it. Behavior not addressed is behavior condoned.

We want to have healthy cultures where our teams and leaders reach out for help when they need it. We want to be given the opportunity to address a situation and to get the support needed. We have to create safety to ask questions, make mistakes, and ask for help. We need to be the go-to for counsel, support, consultation, and guidance. If people aren’t reaching out for help, it’s indicative that they don’t truly believe that reaching out will have an impact.

Disengagement doesn’t happen overnight. Unsafe cultures aren’t built overnight. There is a consistent trend of unmet expectations, and eventually, people lose faith that their situation will improve. Just as this doesn’t deteriorate overnight, it also can’t be repaired overnight. Trust in you, your team, and the organization starts slow — commit to doing something and then do it. That builds trust. If people trust you for the small things, they’ll trust you for the big things, and we all need to be trusted and relied upon for the big things.

Where does your organization line up? Where do you? Are you proud of the culture you foster? If not, what are you doing today to make an impact and start the transformation?

The Importance of Giving Back

The mentors in my career have provided invaluable support, feedback, and a gut check or reality check, when needed.

As we grow in our careers as leaders, it is our honor and privilege to also give back. Suggestions and advice that seem like no-brainers to us because we have been in the workplace for as long as we have, are sometimes just the Epiphany someone else needs.

We also have the ability to use our vast network for others. For example, I met a wonderful, bright, and engaging “girl,” @ohiogirlkate, to be exact. We connected on Twitter awhile back, and we finally connected in person this year at OHSHRM. I saw her in the Expo and later saw her again, and she joined me in helping a vendor unload their free beer. Picture Oprah, but with beer. “You get a beer, you get a beer!”

She even won a prize from a vendor on the last day, and we managed to snap a picture together! Success, right?

Not long after we returned from the conference, she reached out to me to let me know her position was being eliminated.

Now what is the point of having a network of thousands if you can’t use it to help a young HR pro land her next gig? It’s pointless, so I shared her info with my network, and it was shared by others and I’m sharing it here as well. http://linkedin.com/in/coxmary.

Your network is not for you. It’s to help and impact others. I can’t wait to post the story of the power of networking and Mary Kate’s wonderful new opportunity!

There’s No Lukewarm HR

I engaged in a conversation yesterday that went something like this:

Person: “I see you work in HR…how’s that treat ya? Can be a tough job.”

Me: “I’ve been in HR for 15 years. I love it.”

Person: “It’s a position of passion for sure…”

Me: “It can be, but also has the potential for the greatest impact.”

Person: “Indeed.”

Me: “You either love it or you don’t. There’s no lukewarm HR. When done right and with passion, it can be the greatest asset to a company — when done poorly – or “just enough,” it can sink the culture.”

I’m not alone in this sentiment. My good friend Steve Browne (yes, that Steve Browne) expresses this sentiment in his best selling book HR on Purpose: Developing Deliberate People Passion:

“If employees are a pain point or source of frustration for you professionally, then get out of human resources. It isn’t the career for you. Quit trying to tough it out because you are this administrative superstar who can make systems hum. Administration is an important facet of HR, but it is not the reason we exist. Without people, we are nothing.“

Steve is 100% accurate with this statement. HR is the for the people. It’s our job in HR to help and to support. Yes, we are there to advise, consult, and provide guidance. Yes, we are there to analyze trends and to make suggestions using predictive analytics. We are there for all of that, but at the end of the day, the people are the reason we are there. The rest is just details.

Whether you have authority or not, you have the potential to have a great deal of influence and impact in HR. Why? Because you impact the people directly. You are quite often the first impression of the company to a candidate. You are quite often the first person they meet on Day 1. You are the person who explains benefits (or someone on your team is, but you get it.) You have the possibility to make a tremendous impact on the employee’s view of the organization.

While HR is there for the happy moments: anniversaries, promotions, expansion, development, etc., it is the times of tragedy that are the most important part of our job. When someone leans on you, they are trusting you. Be present. Be there. Don’t make it about you. It’s not about you ever in HR. Come to terms with that and find your joy and satisfaction in others.

One of my favorite quotes that I apply to our work: ” Do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return and you will never be disappointed.” I don’t mean that cynically. I genuinely mean that if your focus is not yourself, you would be amazed at the happiness in your work.

One final note of distinction: You notice I didn’t say: You are the dress code police. You are the time card police. You are the [insert control measure here] police. We are not. It saddens me when people are afraid of HR – even in jest. If you got into HR to control people or things, kindly see your way out. You are there to be there for the people, and if you ever forget that, do whatever self-care you need to remind yourself of that or kindly vacate this field that myself and so many of my amazing and passionate cohorts love.

Be on fire for people. Work hard. Do great work.

One Week Later — #SHRM19 Reflection

I mentioned earlier that this was my 4th time attending SHRM National. I can tell you without hesitation that it was by far the BEST SHRM National conference, yet!

Many of my fellow #SHRM19Bloggers have shared their experience at #SHRM19, and I have enjoyed reading each and every post that I have seen so far.

My reflection on #SHRM19 is not just on the content of the sessions, but on the people and the connections. One of the main reasons that I value attending SHRM National is the sheer volume of passionate HR professionals in one place!

This year, there was a creative addition in the Connection Zone called Convos & Coffee. Not only was there a seating area for conversations, a full service coffee bar, and all the fixings for your favorite coffee drinks, there was an interactive floor with conversation starters! There were conversation starters in bubbles that moved around, and if you tapped on it, you could drag the conversation starter to the group you were standing in. It was a very popular area, needless to say, and it was interesting to hear the different perspectives to some of the questions. Kudos to the SHRM19 planning committee for coming up with such a creative way to spark conversations!

Carlos Escobar, myself, and Julie Doyle at Convos & Coffee — See the floor?

Another area for connection was the Volunteer Leaders lounge. If you are not a volunteer for your state or local chapter, I can’t think of a better way to give back to this profession we love. The staff in the Volunteer Leaders lounge worked tirelessly to ensure that the visitors to the lounge truly had a VIP experience, and, speaking of VIP – if you checked into the lounge, you received a special VIP tag that had some pretty neat perks, such as reserved seating in general sessions, etc. We definitely do not volunteer for any of these perks, but it was nice to see SHRM recognize and reward the passion dedicated to these individuals.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Bloggers Lounge as a special area of connection. Andrew Morton (who is transitioning to a new role in SHRM and will be sincerely missed) and Mary Kaylor (completely selfless and wonderful human being) created the ideal environment for connection, creativity, and building lasting relationships. Special thank you to these two and their team. It was a tremendous experience, and in a conference with 20,000 people, having the opportunity to connect with the fellow bloggers in a quiet (sometimes) setting was invaluable.

Too many wonderful people to tag, but an all-star cast of Bloggers!

Oddly enough, the highlight of SHRM19 this year was not the amazing keynotes. I do love Brené Brown. I have written about her before, and I have seen her speak previously. She is amazing, and if we could all do one small change each day to shift our mindset to align more with her Dare to Lead model, we would be much better leaders for our teams. There is always room for improvement. When you stop improving, you stop growing. I, for one, always want to strive to be better than the person I was yesterday. If you did not get a chance to attend this year’s conference, and you are interested in incorporating the model, she is giving it away on her website!

At the end of the day, your experience at a conference as large as SHRM National is what you make of it. The sessions were wonderful and well thought out. I highly recommend purchasing the SHRM eLearning service so that you have access to the sessions that you may have missed due to competing time slots or being full. Bonus: you can share what you learned with others or just watch/listen back sessions that were especially powerful to you. Bonus 2: you have access to other content, not just the conference you recently attended.

If you haven’t attended before, have I convinced you to join us at #SHRM20 in San Diego, yet?! Click Here for early bird registration, and I’ll see you there!

The Importance of Connection — and Twitter Chats!

I can’t say it enough how important it is to connect with people. I don’t mean to say hi at monthly meetings or to have 3,000 LinkedIn connections. I mean to connect.

I just spent the last hour or so chatting with Jon Thurmond. If you don’t know Jon, you are missing out. I reached out to Jon for advice as I have recently undertaken additional responsibilities in my volunteerism, and he is the social media guru. TRUST ME.

What’s great about giving back in HR is that we can chat about work, life, our volunteering, and we are always willing to help out the next person. The next time someone asks me about social media, I have some new tips to share!

What do you have to share? How can you give back? You don’t have to be an expert at anything. Start small.

Participate in a Twitter chat.

I started with #Nextchat years ago when I joined Twitter and found it. I have made so many wonderful connections just through that chat! It’s at 3pm EST on Wednesdays. Check it out. The topic is micro-internships this week. Who doesn’t want to learn more about that?

I am a co-moderator of #JobHuntChat on Mondays at 9pm EST. I’ve plugged this before, and it’s volunteering, so no one is paying me to tell you to join in. If you are looking for a job or are able to offer advice for those that are, I encourage you to join in!

Jon and Wendy host the #HRSocialHour which is an awesome monthly chat where HR professionals and enthusiasts chat about goals, pop culture, beverages, and everything in between. I’m usually cooking dinner at 7pm EST, so I’m usually late and share gratuitous photos of my food.

Take a chance. Join a chat. Thank me later.

Legacy: What Do You Want to be Known For?

I had a manager call me about an issue this week, and the guidance that I provided on how to handle the situation reminded me of something I witnessed in my very first HR job, and it got me thinking that I will always remember my first HR boss for the way she handled that situation. That is the legacy she left with me.

YEARS ago, when I was in my very first HR Assistant role, we had a receptionist up front at our organization who was the first impression to every candidate, customer, you name it. This receptionist came to us via a temp to hire situation, and I’m pretty sure it was the first job she had where she was supposed to dress professionally. She did her best, but they didn’t quite fit – especially the skirts. If you haven’t had the honor of having the “your clothes are inappropriate for the workplace conversation,” you really aren’t living. Yes, I’m being facetious.

It wasn’t just the fact that my boss handled the situation that has always stood out to me, it was HOW she handled it.:

She didn’t send a blanket e-mail to the entire company, reminding everyone of our dress code policy. HR is not the dress code police, and don’t let anyone make you the dress code police.

She did 2 things: 1. She talked to the employee, privately, and asked her how she could help her. During the conversation, the employee confided to my boss that she could not afford nice clothes, and so she was buying her suits in the juniors department – hence the short skirts. My boss did not judge her or give her some ultimatum about the dress code policy. My boss bought her clothes that she could wear to work. 2. My boss didn’t tell a soul, and the only way that I found out was because the receptionist shared the story.

How amazing is that? We don’t all have the ability to buy our teams new clothes, but we have the ability to meet people where they are and ask them what they need. I will never forget the way she handled that, and I can only hope that at some point in my career, I leave a similar impression with my team: I tried every day to be better for them than I was the day before, and I helped them to be the best they could be for their future teams.

What is the legacy you want to leave behind? What are you doing today to work towards that?

Do It Anyway

We’ve all been there. Someone on our team or in our organization is behaving in a manner that would not exactly motivate us to want to help…may cause us to want to react defensively or simply ask “why should I help them when they are being so difficult?”

Do it anyway. Help because that’s the right thing to do. You are not in leadership and certainly not in HR for the accolades, so keep that in mind, perform whatever visualization exercise you need to get through it, and help anyway.

There is no ego in HR. I repeat: THERE IS NO EGO IN HR. I’m sorry if you didn’t read the brochure through to the end, but we are servant leadership for the organization. I’ve been fortunate in my career that my senior leadership, i.e., the C-suite had my back and supported not only me but HR. I know that not everyone is as fortunate as I have been, and I’m truly sorry to hear that, but that is not an excuse to not care and to not help in whatever way you can. Your behavior is not defined or dictated by other people’s behavior – EVER.

Not everyone will want your help. Not everyone will value HR or understand why they should value HR, and you have a unique opportunity to demonstrate that value and maybe change a mindset, but don’t spend too much effort there. People change when they want to. Don’t take it personally.

Good news: there are thousands of other professionals like you dealing with the same types of things, and we all have your back. We’ve been there and survived, and you will, too.

We all made the choice between focusing on ourselves or focusing on others. I can tell you that I have never regretted helping.

Be kind anyway.

Succeed anyway.

Be happy anyway.

Do good anyway.

Give your best anyway.

HELP anyway.

It’s never been about them. You know what’s right, do it.